Daesung's church (Champyungan) recently approached him for an interview, it was quite difficult for them to approach him for an interview. It had been months since the world was shocked by his accident, but yet he was still not active with his fellow members. He had not conducted any interviews with the press. Champyungan told him, “We don’t think interviews happen because people want them to happen. They will happen when God decides the timing is right.” And just a few days later, Daesung responded. “I’ll do it“.
On Sunday October 2nd, 2011. After the 2nd service had ended, Champyungan met with church member Kang Daesung and interviewed him, check out the interview below.
It has been about a year since we last interviewed you. So many things have happened in that time; how are you holding up?
I spent most of my time at church. I come when there is work to be done on the weekdays, and I come when I meet with our Young Adult (Hepzibah) Group
It’s probably been awhile since you’ve spent so much time at church; how does it feel?
Things were really hard after the accident. I thought to myself, ‘If it weren’t for my faith, I may have committed something truly horrible’. After the hardest 3-4 days of my life, I decided I wanted to come see our head pastor. I asked the youth leader if that would be okay, and he invited me to come. And when he saw me, he encouraged and comforted me. I felt a sense of peace in my heart, and after that I started spending all my time at church. This was the only place that offered me comfort.
What do you mean you might have committed something horrible if it wasn’t for your faith?
A lot of entertainers commit suicide. And I now completely understand why. I’m not saying I was thinking about it, but if it weren’t for my faith, I could possibly have gone down that road. So I was so thankful. I thanked the Lord that he had given me this faith. Every single comment I read online pierced my heart. What was most heartbreaking was that people were calling me a murderer. Every time I walked outside, I felt like people were looking at me like I was a murderer.
Did you feel safe within the church walls?
Honestly, yes. I wasn’t really in a situation to be meeting and socializing with other people, but I felt comforted when I came here. When I stayed at the dormitory, I felt such anxiety and I wasn’t able to eat anything. So I stayed at church. Every time I needed to work, I came here. The thoughts I would usually have working elsewhere did not torment me when I was at church.
Even those who don’t believe in God say that they feel a sense of peace come over them when they come to church. Why do you think that is?
If you’re a member of our church, you would understand why. In some ways, I’m more comfortable at church then I am at home. I read online that even non-Christians were supportive of me re-gaining my confidence as well as my life by spending time at church, and it was really encouraging.
How did you feel, those first 3-4 days?
I couldn’t go outside. I was so sorrowful, and I kept remembering what happened. My head was full of thoughts and the days just flew by.
What kind of thoughts did you have?
I was partially at fault so I was so sincerely apologetic towards the individual. I prayed a lot. But even in my prayers, I would have reminders of that moment and I couldn’t continue. My prayers weren’t really prayers. I would just simply repeat ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry…’ for twenty minutes, and then cry again…
What were you sorry about?
I was sorry about what had happened to him, I was apologetic towards our agency and the members, and I was afraid of how my actions would impact the church. Instead of our church being uplifted by my actions, it was about to face harsh criticisms because of what I did. I was just so completely sorry. I was sorry to my parents, as well as to his parents…
Didn’t you attend his funeral a few days after the accident? Must not have been easy for you.
It was hard. But I felt responsible, and I knew I needed to pay my respects. I was involved in what had happened, and it was something that had to be done. It was really hard to walk in, and I could not even look up at the faces of his family members. But the family members were kind enough to actually encourage and comfort me.
What did they say?
They were rightfully angry at first. But after we had a few conversations, they said that what’s happened has already come to past and since there’s nothing we can do about it now, they told me to work hard and they would like to see me get back on my feet. The individual’s parents are ill, and so his aunt had spoken to me on their behalf. She was a Christian, she saw that I had a Bible in the back of my car, and she told me she wanted to pray and forgive.
When people go through something tragic, they usually wonder why bad things happen to them.
At the time, I was so bewildered that I could not find room to search for answers to my many questions. After some time had passed, and things got more settled, the thought did cross my mind. Ironically enough, at the time our main chapel and the Hepzibah chapel were under reconstruction, it was also a chance for me to rebuild my own faith as well. I was thankful to God as I realized he was giving me time to look over my faith.
What kinds of things did you think about as you about as you helped repair the church building?
This is the first time I ever did this sort of work in the church. I became really attached to our church as I worked. And after it was all said and done, I was so thankful to be able to worship God in such a beautiful building. Honestly though, when they announced that the church would be undergoing repairs, I thought they would call in professionals. But they didn’t, and the pastor as well the deacons and elders in the church came out to help out with what they could. There was no way us young people could stand by and watch. It was such a good distraction for me for that 1.5 months. I didn’t think about the accident during that time. I knew that God would be pleased in my actions, and that all things would come together for the good of those who love him.
It’s something you’ve never done before, was it physically straining?
We didn’t do anything that I would consider hard labor. Most of us younger people cleaned and assisted. It was fun. I got to eat good food and have a good time with my fellow Hepzibah members. They even grilled fresh pork belly for us as a way of thanking us. That was the best.
You’re a celebrity that’s used to the limelight, and attracting attention. But its been months since you’ve been in the public eye. Don’t you feel like you want to get back out there?
I definitely want to sing, but I still don’t have enough confidence to stand before my fans as cheerfully as I once did. I still like being at church the best. I’m only here and at home, but I like it that way.
How are you feeling these days?
As time goes on, I feel a little more peace in my heart. God has given me a specific talent, and its my calling so I need to start preparing myself to go back out there again.
Is your calling a little different now than it was before?
I had the time to look over my faith and confirm in my heart what my dreams are. God has given me the talent to sing, and to praise him with my voice, and I want to use it to bring him glory. And there are a lot of people in the industry who don’t know Christ who I can reach out to. I want to take advantage of that.
Do you feel the members of our church have changed after your accident?
Yes. Before, they would greet me so welcomingly, but now I feel like within their smile, they look at me like they want me to know they understand my situation. They want to encourage and support me. They tell me they’ve been praying for me a lot. I don’t know if its just me, but I feel even more loved than I did before.
A lot of congregation members have probably prayed for you. Prayer is a powerful thing, and all those prayers combined were probably a big source of strength for you.
I think that’s the reason why I feel so comfortable in church, because they have prayed so much for me. I don’t know if I would have felt the same without their prayers. Perhaps I would have found a different save haven to rest my thoughts. But I know when I see the members that they have been praying so passionately for me. I know that this is the power of prayer.
Those without faith believe that we find peace in our hearts in the search for God, and that he does not actually exist. Did you really feel that God was alive and helping you in your situation?
Yes, a lot. Even when the jury ruled that I was innocent, that was obviously God working on my behalf. I was ready to accept whatever outcome I was faced with, but everything worked out to my advantage. I knew that God stirred the hearts of the citizens in the jury.
Have you met with your senior pastor since the day you went to visit him?
Very often, actually. Every time something happens, big or small, I ask him for his advice and counsel with him. The biggest changes in my life that have taken place after the accident is that now I go to God and ask him for his direction before I make a decision. The day after the accident, the members and I were supposed to take a vacation and go overseas. It would have been the first real break since we started Big Bang. But I realized that I did not even pray about the trip before deciding to go. Well, in all aspects of my life, I was not disciplined in talking to God before making any sort of decision. I realized this was wrong. My youth pastor kept bugging me to do a Bible Study since three years back, and it’s true that I was busy but I could have made the time if I really wanted to. But I avoided him. I’ve been a Christian since birth, and the thought of partaking in a Bible Study class gave me a headache. But now that I’ve had the time to take a break, I have started Bible Study again. I realized how shallow my faith was, and how much more I needed to grow as a Christian.
How have you changed as you studied the Bible?
I really learned everything starting from the very beginning. I started with Genesis, and read the stories of Adam and Eve. I ventured my way deeper into the Old Testament. I remember during my last interview, you asked how much of the Old Testament I had read and I had replied that it was hard to read so I had only read a few pages. Now that I have been introduced to it in a new light, studying it with my youth pastor, it seems a little less intimidating and fun. It also helps me focus more on the sermons, now that I have some background information. I link the sermon with things I have read in the Bible, and it makes so much more sense to me now. Of course, I still don’t fully understand what’s written on these pages. Before I thought ‘okay, it took Noah 120 years to build the ark. Cool. Adam and Lamech lived 56 years together. Got it’, but now I understand why and the significance of their lives. It made me realize that I need to study the Bible more. This is just the beginning.
Have you been reading the Bible these days?.
Yes, I’ve been reading the Old Testament, but I’m no expert.
Are you thankful for your current circumstances?
Yes, I am thankful. If I had not gone through what I did, who knows, I may have taken a few more steps into the secular world. This was a good intervention. I want to study the word and start my life new. Looking back, I’m realizing why God has allowed all these things to happen to me. I’m thankful for these opportunities and I think maybe he also wants me to realize the Truth before His imminent return.
You seem like a completely different person from the Daesung we interviewed last year. Is there a particular hymn or Bible verse that comes to mind when things get hard for you?
Hymn number 365. The lyrics “Get up with confidence” particularly resonates with me. I realize I want to get on my feet again.
What did your parents say when you were going through your difficult time?
They told me not to worry, and that I should start with Bible Study. The first few days I locked myself in my room. My mom came to visit and I got angry, raising my voice towards her, telling her I did not want to see anyone. She put up with all of that, and has been my source of strength to this day. I am always sorrowful towards her, and so thankful that I have her in my life. I don’t even tell her how much I am grateful for her, because I can’t well express my emotions.
You recently brought fellow member G-Dragon to church. How did that come about?
There was nothing I did in particular. He knows that I practically live at church and one day he had told my manager hyung that he wanted to come to our church. G-Dragon hyung has a church himself, but hasn’t gone in quite awhile. I told him to come whenever and that he would always be welcome. But then I began to worry. How would I be able to create a comfortable experience for him? I never thought to pray for him to attend our church, but I prayed that by coming here, he would also experience the same comfort and peace.
Are the two of you close?
All of us members are close, but with hyung being the leader and all, he’s more understanding of me.
Why do you think G-Dragon wanted to come to your church?
I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Maybe he was curious as to what kind of church I was spending all my time at. One of the songwriters at our label also attends church here as well. Maybe he had some kind of influence on him as well. The day he came, there was so much going on everywhere with the repairs. I apologized, telling him that we were doing some construction, and he told me it was okay. But when we walked into the building and he saw everything and saw more construction signs as we walked up the stairs, he laughed and said he didn’t realize it would be to this extent. The hymn we sang that day was “I love my Jesus”, and he remarked that he liked the hymn and he seemed to enjoy the experience. The senior pastor gave his sermon, and when he saw that I was busily taking notes, he remarked that he couldn’t really hear, and I began forwarding the message to him, as if I was translating. He said he really enjoyed the message. He came back the next week to meet our senior pastor and on our way home, I asked him what he thought and he said he met eye contact with the pastor and it was like the pastor knew what he was going through. He liked it.
Do you pray a lot these days?
Yes, short prayers here and there. When I first wake up, when I walk outside, when I get in the car, after I get home from church, before I sleep, etc.
What do you pray about these days?
I have been spiritually blessed through Bible Study, and I know that I will experience a blessing that I can soon see with my eyes. I ask that the Lord continue to change me to use me for his kingdom. And I pray that I will never lose this faith, this state of mind that I have right now. I pray that I will continue my walk with God, never having to experience something so difficult to wake me up to the truth. I also pray that I will be blessed in my work, that I will be able to sing with confidence and press on.
There are three months left of this year. How will you be spending your time?
I plan on taking a break for the rest of the year. I am a singer and my work is music, but for the time being and for the rest of the year, I want to focus on church. I am one of the leads in my Hepzibah group, so I want to focus on that. I am so glad that I am able to serve in so many different ways in the church, and I pray that I will be able to well handle anything that comes my way, that I will be a living testimony. When I go up to the main chapel, I laugh to myself thinking about how I used to come in hiding my face. No one here considers me a celebrity. I am just another oppa, a dongseng, and a friend.
The song you sang last week for the offering was amazing.
It was the first time I was singing the offering song alone, and I was so nervous. My legs have never shaken on stage, but they did last week. It was a nervousness on a completely different level and there was nothing I could do about it. I get the most nervous when I sing hymns. Its a completely different feeling from when I perform on stage. The lyrics to the song really hit home for me.
Anything you want to say in closing?
When you asked to do an interview, I thought a lot about the interview from last year. I thought about the answers I gave, and I felt so embarrassed. If I didn’t go through this trial, and didn’t have this difficult time in my life, I may have been going to church with the same mindset and the same shallow faith. I’m so thankful for the change.
This interview was conducted on October 2nd, 2011. After the interview was over, Champyungan searched for the interview with Daesung’s interview last year. The date? Sunday, October 3rd, 2010. His second interview took place exactly 365 after his first. God had protected him and grown him in his faith during that year. We look forward to an even more mature Christian Daesung and his growing faith in another 365 days.
Source : Champyungan (via allkpop)
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